Before anyone new walks into your parent's house, someone has to answer a plain question: who can open the door, and how? Most long-distance families think about the helper's schedule and the cost first. The door comes earlier than that, and getting it right protects your parent and the helper alike.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Map every way in
Start with a list of every entry point and who can currently open it. Walk the house in your head, or ask the person on site to walk it with you by phone: the front door, the back door, the side door from the garage, any sliding door, and the spare key hidden outside. For each one, write down the lock type (a plain key, a deadbolt, a keypad code, or a smart lock that opens from a phone app) and the name of every person who holds a key or code.
Look for keys you did not know existed. A key held by a neighbor, a church friend, a former landlord, or a repair company is still a key. Decide whether each one stays, goes back to its owner, or gets replaced.
Check the alarm and the codes
If the house has a monitored alarm, call the company and ask for the authorized user list. Confirm that each person on it should still be there, and that the emergency contacts are current. Ask whether a new helper can receive their own code instead of sharing your parent's. Shared codes are hard to take back, so ask for a separate one.
Ask who is allowed to change the codes. The answer should be one named person, usually you or a family member who lives nearby, not whoever happens to be in the house that day.
Ask the helper before the first visit
Whether you hire an independent helper or an agency, put these questions to them directly and write down the answers. How will you get in on the first day, and who will meet you at the door? Do you accept a lockbox, a keypad code, or a key handed over in person, and who keeps the record of who holds it? If your parent does not answer the door, what do you do, and who do you call first? Do you contact a family member before entering when a visit is missed? Will you carry identification your parent can see, and will you show it at the door every time?
A good answer is specific and a little dull. A vague answer, or one that depends on your parent remembering a code, is a reason to slow down.
Plan for a bad day
A keypad code works only if the person entering it can still remember it and press the buttons in order. A smart lock works only if the phone app is installed, charged, and logged in. Before you commit to a plan, check whether your parent can still use the lock on an ordinary day, and set up a backup that works on a bad one. That backup might be a lockbox the helper can reach, a neighbor with a key who has agreed to be called, or a key kept with the family member closest to the house.
If you notice your parent opening the door to people they do not know, or forgetting a code they once knew, write down what happened and when. Take those notes to the doctor. That is something for the doctor to weigh, not something to settle from a distance.
Keep the list current
Keys and codes change. When a helper stops coming, remove their code, collect the key, and tell the alarm company. Review the whole list every few months, and again after any change in the helper team, any new person in the house, or any change in how well your parent can use a lock.
If you need people in St. Louis to hold a key, check the door, or meet a helper on site, the Local Help for a St. Louis Parent page lays out who to call and what to ask. For how we check the claims in these guides, see Sources.
What to do tonight
Pull out every key you can find and write down who holds each one. If there is an alarm, call the company and ask for the current authorized user list. Choose one person to keep the codes, and tell the rest of the family in writing.
What to leave with the doctor
Bring any changes you have seen in your parent's ability to remember codes, use a phone app, or answer the door. Ask whether anything about your parent's health affects how safe it is for a helper to come and go on their own.