You are not in the room, so the closet is the first place to look. Clothes keep a record that a phone call does not. A blouse buttoned one hole off, the same shirt worn three days running, two different shoes on the same feet, a winter coat still hanging up while the weather is warm: any of these can be a tired morning or the start of something you need to watch. The useful question is whether it repeats.

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What to look at

Ask for a photo of what she is wearing today, taken from the front and including her feet. One photo tells you little. Three photos across a few days tell you whether the outfit is her choice or simply whatever was on top of the pile.

Look at the laundry. Ask her to describe the last load, or look at the hamper when you visit. A hamper that is always full can mean she is changing clothes often. A hamper that is always empty can mean the wash is happening somewhere else, or not at all. Both are worth a second question, asked lightly.

When you are in the house, check the closet and the dresser. Clothes she used to rotate may sit in the same spot for weeks. Winter items stay out in warm months. Matching pieces are split across rooms. Stains at the front of a top, or a button you always sewed back on that is still missing, are the details a phone will never carry.

Pattern or bad day

A bad day has an end. A pattern repeats in the same shape. Write down three things: what changed, how often you saw it, and whether she noticed or explained it. If she says the dryer ate a sock once, that is one answer. If she gives the same explanation for the same kind of thing three visits in a row, that is worth a closer look.

Keep the list short. You are not deciding what anything means. You are gathering a plain account of what you saw so the people who can judge it have something to work from.

Who else can look

If a neighbor or a local helper already stops by, ask them to notice the same things on their next visit, without comparing notes first. Two separate reports carry more weight than one worried voice. The Local Help for a St. Louis Parent page covers how to set up that kind of look without turning it into a file on your mother.

What to do tonight

Ask her to send one photo of her outfit, feet included, and one of the hamper. Do not make it a test. Say you want a picture for the family album. Then write three lines on your phone: what you saw, when you first noticed it, and whether anyone else has mentioned it.

What to leave with the doctor

Bring the short list, not a verdict. Name the changes you saw in clothing and dressing, how often they happened, and what she said about them. Ask the doctor which of these deserve a closer check at her next visit and whether any should be looked at sooner. Ask what you should watch for between visits. The doctor decides what the changes mean.