You are often the person the hospital calls first, and you are often the person who cannot get into the room. The first problem with a hospital call from far away is not the diagnosis. It is whether the staff can tell you what is happening at all, and whether you can reach the people who can.
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Learn the signs you have this problem
You likely have it if a nurse says they can only speak with the patient, if the number on file is an old one, if you are listed as a contact but nobody has confirmed it, or if the staff hesitate when you ask a basic question. Each of these means the hospital is following its own rules about who can receive information. That is not a judgment about you, but it does mean the next call may go the same way unless the rules are settled.
Find out what she has authorized
Ask the staff, or the patient's unit, what permission your mother has given the hospital about sharing information with family. Ask whether that permission is written down and where it is kept. If she is able to say who she wants informed, ask her to name you and the person you would call in your place. Keep the hospital's rules in mind rather than trying to argue around them, because the staff will follow whatever is on the record.
Ask for the right office
Hospitals usually have a patient access office, a social work team, or a patient navigator who handles family questions. Call the main number, ask for one of those, and ask three things: who is the listed contact for the patient, what information can be shared with that contact, and how the family should reach the care team for updates. Write down the name of the person you spoke with and the time of the call.
Set up a reachable route
Make sure the number on file is one you answer, and that a second person in the area also has the information needed to get updates. Ask the unit how they prefer to reach family and whether they will call you back when the team has a clear update. Keep a single written list of the names, roles, and numbers you have been given.
What to do tonight
Call the hospital's main number and ask for the patient access or social work office. Ask what your mother has authorized and what the staff are able to tell you. Write the answers down and send the list to the one other person who should have it.
What to leave with the doctor
Ask the doctor to tell you what they are able to share with you directly and who on the team will speak with you when they are not in the room. Ask them which questions they want the family to be ready to answer when they call.