The car is often the first place a change shows up. Nobody mentions the new scrape on the garage door, but the car has it. Nobody says the trips got shorter, but the odometer knows. This stop helps you read those signs from far away without jumping to a conclusion about driving or about health. The decisions about driving belong to your parent, the family, and the doctor, with the state licensing rules as the reference point.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Check the outside of the car
Ask a neighbor to photograph the car from the same spot each week. Look for new dents on the bumpers, fresh scrapes on the garage or mailbox, and a mirror that has been pushed out of its usual position. A car parked at a new angle or too close to the curb is worth a note. Photos from the same spot make the changes easy to see.
Check the inside and the miles
Write down the odometer reading now and compare it to the number you remember from a few months back. A sudden drop in miles or a long gap between trips is a pattern to note. Look at the fuel gauge over a few weeks to see whether the fuel use fits the trips your parent says they take. Check the tire pressure warning light if the car has one, and ask whether it has come on.
Ask about the trips
Ask your parent where they went in the last few weeks, and listen for vague answers. Ask a neighbor whether they have seen the car leave, and how often. Do not argue with the answers. Write them down as you hear them, so you can compare them with the photos and the miles.
Decide what you can see and what you cannot
You can see the dents, the miles, and the photos. You cannot see how the drive felt or whether your parent is confident behind the wheel. That gap is why the doctor is part of the picture. Keep your notes to what you observed, not what you think it means.
Plan the next conversation
Plan one plain conversation about the car, with the observations written down. Say what you saw, not what you conclude. Ask what your parent wants to do about the car and the trips. If the family needs to make a decision about driving, the state licensing office publishes the rules and the process for a review, so check that before any change.
What to do tonight
Photograph the car from the same spot, note the odometer, and ask a neighbor to do the same each week for a month. Write down the last three trips you know about. Set one time next week for a call about the car, not a call about the whole life.
What to leave with the doctor
Write a list of the specific incidents you have seen, such as a new dent, a missed errand, or a trip that your parent could not describe. Put them in the order they happened and state what you saw. Do not add a diagnosis. The doctor can ask the questions that a list of observations makes possible.
For the public sources on driving rules and the review process, see the Sources page. If you want to start with the basic plan for your family, the Start Here page covers the order of the first steps.